Calm but Brewing

Have you ever been in that space where you're really calm, but you feel something brewing, and you don't know what's brewing? That's how I've been feeling the last little while. Like something is coming. I hope whatever it is is good, or maybe the feeling will just fade and I'll have forgotten about feeling this (most likely).

Today is the first day where my coughing hasn't been non-stop, and my energy is a little higher. I really do need to schedule myself. I need to get exercise back into my schedule and now I need to add studying for the GRE. I HATE STANDARDIZED TESTS! I absolutely suck at them. I'm trying to visualize that I'll get an average score, but really, in all my years of taking those stupid things - I score on the low end. And I totally suck at math, hands down stink at it. So ok, the GRE makes me really anxious, remedy - attempt to prep for something I have no desire to take. Sigh, thanks for listening to the rant.

An aside, the landlords are coming twice next week, and the visit will probably only go sorta well; we've given up on anything more with them. But, I'm not as anxious as I was expecting...but I know that will be different the days of the actual visits. The wife is pretty anxious, which makes me feel awful - she's not one to get anxious; she's the calm one, the rock...so it really makes me angry that these people have gotten to her.

But, really life is good. Blessings to y'all.

Halloween Randomness

Ain't love a paltry affair
So blue so incandescent
In the end it burned out his eyes

The mornings are cool here in SA land, the afternoons flush with warmth, the evenings hint at the chill to come.

Halloween today...my kiddos quite excited Tinker Bell and Scream, punk rock Mimi, zoot scootin' mama. The dogs and cat cast as themselves. Mounds of joy ready to plunder my waist and thighs, unless of course self-control over the little pearls of sugary glooy sweetness is maintained.

Have a safe and Spookaliuos Night mi amigos.

Randomness

Finding God

In the Woodwork

I looked into the cracks on my hands and knees

Finding God

In the Mirror

I looked at the bark my nose nearly touching

Finding and articulating God...

Random

Vision of a priest walking in the desert sand
Robe swept westard by the wind at her feet
Back to me she is, staff in hand
Just her and the desert and the setting sun

What Color Crayon Are You?

You Are a Yellow Crayon

Your world is colored with happy, warm, fun colors. You have a thoughtful and wise way about you. Some people might even consider you a genius. Charming and eloquent, you are able to get people to do things your way. While you seem spontaneous and free wheeling, you are calculating to the extreme. Your color wheel opposite is purple. You both are charismatic leaders, but purple people act like you have no depth.

What Color Crayon Are You?

Random

Disappointed, that's how I should have replied to my wife this morning when she asked if I was doing ok. I am profoundly disappointed. She is deeply disgusted; Trying really hard to not have me take ownership of blame that is not mine to take...but, well, it does take two to tango...

A friend sent me a wonderful story about a bear and community...and there's the rub, that thing that hasn't worked itself out yet, that disappointment.

So Who Can Name When Logic Saved the Day

I would be curious to know when logic saved the day, "the day" being equality issues (e.g., racism, bigotry, women's rights).

Does anyone know of such a "day"? Would we call Martin Luther King Jr. a logician, or Gandhi or Lucy Stone?

Just curious.

Oh you gail force wind
You emotional beast you
You are just too emotional

No, no I am the fire of passion
It is your heart I hope to ignite
As your head is an ice fortress

Haircut Decision

Well, I almost went completely for it, I did get a faux-hawk, but it's subtle on the sides. I think I may need to buy some industrial strength hair gel, because my hair isn't quite staying the way I want it to. But, still I'm glad I did it.

And we're off

So life is about to hit the fast lane again...and I'm disappointed about that. I just got asked to fill a position for which I've little experience - I do believe there's a dilbert moment in there.

EFM starts first week of September, kids go back to school Monday, my wife's work schedule changes. So, grand jugger supreme mama bring it on (ok well no really don't bring it on, but you get the picture).

I get my haircut tonight, pretty excited about that...maybe I'll get that "foe-hawk" after all. Maybe I'll dye my hair some crazy color. Maybe I'll say @#$% it all and get both a "foe-hawk" and some crazy colored hair. Or maybe not.

Misc

Tempered silence
Booms
within the chambers of my heart
Far away spaces
Unfold
within the dimensions of my soul

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
God.
God who?
God to know ya.

BBQing tonight – angus burgers and bratwurst - yum. My wife’s friends from college are visiting tonight. Grocery shopping, and yard work tomorrow (need to replace one more vine and the gazebo flora is done). Church on Sunday. My wife and I just joined our church’s Bread for the World group…so we’ll be doing that Sunday too.

Otherwise, not much happening. Wife insistent about us camping - so that’ll be in May. Our big vacation isn’t until the end of June to San Francisco. Ho hum…it’s always off to work I go J.

Interspersing Martin Luther King Jr’s “Why We Can’t Wait” into “church” reading for variety.

Saying too much in too few words

Easter week is is shaping up to be quite busy...

But for me this Easter marks a continued affirmation of a connectedness to a faith community...

I feel as though I've emerged from the depths and have broken free to the surface and gasp that first lungful of oxygen...I feel new.

I wonder at what discernment will bring, what it will entail...ah, continued resounding affirmations one hopes.

...To think about it but not too much...listening, listening, listening...worrying about earwax :) ah, well it will fall where it may...

...Zeitgeist (the spirit of the time) keeps "popping up" today hmmm...

p.s. The Chill Out Lounge rocks (if you use Windows Media player Internet Radio), as I write this post lyrics keep repeating Delivery me, won't you delivery me...I know you're the one to delivery me...now that i've found you i know that you're the one to believe in me
...nice