Sunday, June 28, 2009

Very Good Weekend

Had a very good weekend. On Saturday we got the errands done early and after lunch we went bike riding. About a mile in sonshine's chain popped off due to him trying out some bike trick. I did't even have my pocket knife with me, but luckily I was able to get the chain back on with a little help from the wife - next time out the tools are coming too :) Then on the way back we stopped at a place called Charlie's were Patsy Cline was crooning to the waves and we swung under the trees eating our newly purchased treats.

Today was a bitter-sweet day for my church...but we had a boat trip around the big lake to honor a person leaving us. Thanks to some very generous members the trip was free for kids and at a way reduced rate. So, we had a blast...sitting up on the top deck with perfect weather, good food, lemonade, friends, and family.

It was quite simply a beautiful weekend.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Liked the Humor

Saw most what you'll hear last night (the images were added by the person who posted it to youtube).

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Monday, June 22, 2009

Maine and Discernment

The drive to Maine was beautiful, but for some reason the drive there was a full hour longer then the drive back to Vermont going the exact same route.

We saw 3 moose, 1 beaver, 1 snake, 1 crab-like thing, 1 suicidal vulture, heard howling coyotes, and there's way too many mosquitoes. The lakes where spectacular and the mountains shrouded in clouds. I didn't take a lot of pictures though, but when the roll gets developed I'll post one or two.

We had a very good time and for a couple of days I was able to let my worries mostly go. But there's a sadness that's crept into my heart, and I don't know whether to honor it or kick it out. I really should just get over it already.

My last discernment visit left me confused and worried. We started out the conversation par usual. And we talked about how there's times when I'm writing something and it just comes out, just flows, and when it's done you know, and you know it is good, very good. And how I have these moments in conversations with people too. It's like the Holy Spirit is working through you. And I'm not convinced he totally got what I was talking about, which caught me off guard because he writes sermons.

We also, I think, had a good discussion overall, and then within the last 10 minutes of our time he (and I had wondered when we where going to review my last set of material and was getting ready to bring it up but...) mentioned that he had looked at my last set of work, and that he really should have written some notes down, and then his words hit me like a ton of bricks and his comments came in a stream. And I'm sitting there in shock and I know that he sees my reaction. And I can't believe he'd saved these comments for the last 10 minutes, and he doesn't want to discuss it with me, but instead gives me my next assignment to sort of address what he had said.

With that said the comments were not horrid, they were more along the lines of what-how-is-that-all-you-heard, I don't think I'll get booted out of the process (though that is my deepest fear, so some of my sadness is self-pity). I told him I had to sit and reflect on what he said. He did end the conversation with, you're doing good work, this is good work.

I asked him if he had time (he'll be away for many weeks soon) to skim my now last set of work 'cause as I told a friend if he doesn't like this he's going to hate [my now last set of work]. So, I did the what's the worst that could happen exercise: (a) the process stops here, (b) the process gets extended for this part of it, (c) it all turns out fine and the process proceeds as normal.

I think what hurts the most is that I feel like I have somehow let my own self down.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Eat with Me

Won't you please
come join me
at this table?

Because when I break
this bread, I am
breaking open myself.

Will you hold me
in this moment
so that I may see you?

I would like to pass
this plate to you
and ask you too to break bread.

I promise to be there
as you lay open
and together we mend.

Monday, June 08, 2009

Going to Maine

We're going to go camping in Maine for our anniversary. The wife and I had been talking that if we don't go this year it probably wouldn't happen. We won't see the ocean since we're traveling to the closer point between us and Maine, but the area is supposed to be beautiful. It will be nice to get away for a weekend, leave our regular weekend routines behind. Do some hiking, take some photos, maybe sonshine will shoot some video. He's actually pretty good at making funny videos, we showed them off to a friend who found them amusing too - so it's not just biased parents ;)

Here's a couple of recent pictures. I took these when we went sugaring back in February.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Calm but Brewing

Have you ever been in that space where you're really calm, but you feel something brewing, and you don't know what's brewing? That's how I've been feeling the last little while. Like something is coming. I hope whatever it is is good, or maybe the feeling will just fade and I'll have forgotten about feeling this (most likely).

Today is the first day where my coughing hasn't been non-stop, and my energy is a little higher. I really do need to schedule myself. I need to get exercise back into my schedule and now I need to add studying for the GRE. I HATE STANDARDIZED TESTS! I absolutely suck at them. I'm trying to visualize that I'll get an average score, but really, in all my years of taking those stupid things - I score on the low end. And I totally suck at math, hands down stink at it. So ok, the GRE makes me really anxious, remedy - attempt to prep for something I have no desire to take. Sigh, thanks for listening to the rant.

An aside, the landlords are coming twice next week, and the visit will probably only go sorta well; we've given up on anything more with them. But, I'm not as anxious as I was expecting...but I know that will be different the days of the actual visits. The wife is pretty anxious, which makes me feel awful - she's not one to get anxious; she's the calm one, the it really makes me angry that these people have gotten to her.

But, really life is good. Blessings to y'all.

Monday, June 01, 2009

June and the summer is freezing

Ok, couldn't resist...I mean it did snow the other day here in VTland. I've a cold, most likely from the sudden shift in weather or possibly fatigue and it being cold.

June is stacking up to be sporadically meeting filled. Some weeks nothing, next week oh my, oh my. I figure this is much the life of a priest, many many meetings. I imagine what my days as a priest will look like every now and again (you know positive affirmation/visualization). Mornings steeped in centering prayer, Sunday sermons that rock the house, people walking out the door excited and energized and deeply loved. A church excited about God, in love with God and each other and their world. Then I let some reality seep in, so ok there will be alot of meetings, but I truly enjoy people and doing good stuff out in the world - lucky for me these kind of meetings don't wear me out (well ok the ones that go on were no decision is made expect to make it next time - those are draining). And the one-on-ones technically that's a meeting, but really that's pastoral care. So, you know, prayer, sermons, Eucharist, and meetings - what more could an aspiring wanna be ask for --- a calendar and a good contract so her wife doesn't leave her and her children remember they have two mommas :)