There was a gathering last night at the church I go to (the group rotates its meeting places) who are GLBT Episcopals who want to bring compassion, understanding, and change to the Diocese we are apart of.
There's this one priest who is always there and does an incredible job of alienating people. T.K. called him an ego bully, and I have to agree. This is the same guy who called me a heretic.
He seems to think that the only way to get things (e.g., the bishop) to change his mind is to present the GLBT case with logic arugements...sigh...he doesn't get that it can't only be about logic. Logic by itself rarely touches the heart, and more often it is the heart that changes the mind. He refuses to validate those of us who hold the belief that change comes through giving issues a human face. He refuses to acknowledge that logic doesn't heal, but invalidates the person who is hurting - it twists and places all resposibility/blame on the person who is hurting.
Back story: T.K. is writting a letter to the bishop about her own spritual journey and the pain she sees with mine (she does not use my name in the letter), she's also hoping that people who feel the same will sign the letter. She's attempting to bring heart to the logic, she's trying to take what's happening out of the realm of the abstract and make it real. All of which she explained to the priest. And he proceeded to tell her that won't work and no deserves ordaination just because they want to. So, when he finished talking, I replied pretty angerly that the letter was about me, and that I'm not looking to "get ordained" but what makes me angery and what is wrong is that I can't even enter into the discernment process here because I'm gay.
I went up to him afterwards and said, you know I don't think I deserve to be ordained, but I do deserve the opportunity to discern, and I know that won't happen here, so I'm taking steps to be somewhere I can go through the process. I shouldn't have even wasted my energy on him - he was just insulting - I had to walk away from the guy.
What makes me most sick is that he thinks he's helping "us" - that he's a guy who really cares about being a reconciler - he's just a dickhead. Who doesn't see the harm in telling a room full of people who have suffered discrimation that their pain isn't valid, you can't tell your stories you idiots, you must use logic.
Well, he can kiss my illogical ass.
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4 comments:
argh... people like that are soooo frustrating. sounds like a narcissist to me. i'm sorry that you had that experience. i'm glad you spoke up for yourself and for others. and i pray that you can shake it off.
Your quote: "He seems to think that the only way to get things (e.g., the bishop) to change his mind is to present the GLBT case with logic arugements...sigh...he doesn't get that it can't only be about logic. Logic by itself rarely touches the heart, and more often it is the heart that changes the mind. He refuses to validate those of us who hold the belief that change comes through giving issues a human face. He refuses to acknowledge that logic doesn't heal, but invalidates the person who is hurting - it twists and places all resposibility/blame on the person who is hurting." Agreed, and well said.
more cows: actually it was easier to shake it off, then my last experience with him. This time I was able to blog about it, and that action seemed to actually release the anger.
Plus it helps that I don't have any spare enger to go around, especially for someone like that.
Thank you for your prayers and thoughts.
murat: thank you, and thank you for your words last night - especially the ones I left unsaid, well said yourself.
You hit the dick on the head, JS. Logic, my ass.
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