Well, I tried my best to walk away, call it quits. If I had been able to get my old job back that would have been the end of the journey. But, not so...the door I knew was closed had a moment of oasis...but that's all it was - an oasis.
For better or worse...the path is set. Where eventual discernment (assuming this ever happens - maybe Spring, maybe not) will lead to a yea or nay. I continue to be humbled or perhaps buckled is a better word. Either way some time in prayer is vastly needed. I haven't trusted myself to talk to Him, nor was I in a place a week ago to trust Him. The trust piece is still a little shakey, but I'm now more willing to believe my journey here is not meant to be a waste, that no matter what the outcome it will add value to my life - and not subtract from the quality of life of my family.
Somehow, the events leading towards the end of my day have brought a calmness of spirit, a groundedness. I know this feeling within myself is fleeting - so for now I will enjoy the feeling of being present with God.