I haven't posted in a very long while. So here's a go at returning...
I told "my seminary" and my fellow seminarians last week that I won't be returning next Fall.
Things here didn't work out; I had hoped that perhaps they would. But I eventually had to let go of that hope and make concrete plans for the sake of my family and my own future.
The journey of this year has taught me alot about myself and institutions. I've learned to listen for what isn't said as closely as to what is spoken; both hold volumes of meaning. I've learned to get it in writing :) I've learned that when a community can't speak truths it poisons all other interactions. I've re-learned being gay in the South requires alot of patience on my part. I've learned in the midst of struggles and pain there is still deep love. I've learned to love a community of people who are very different from me with whom I spend more time with then my family. I've re-learned to be the sound of the voice of the other, and I am thankful for that. I'm learning a theological vocabulary, and finding my theological context. There's more I've learned but, I think will find it's way out over time and distance. My wife learned she could let go of what was once home and to discover home had become somewhere else. They're won't be any I wonder what if around leaving here, for which I am thankful.
It took alot of time to work through the guilt of moving my kiddos again. It took alot of time to let go of the anger and frustration of broken and avoided promises. But now when people say I hear you're leaving, I smile and say yeah, I'm excited about the change.