Hmmm...weight lost - if only

So, I'm going to give a fitness plan a try. Why, because I've gained more weight then is good for my frame (at 5'8" it just looks like momma's got back, and some hip). I haven't had a true exercise routine/regime since my military days. At the time I really disliked having to exercise on demand, but afterwards when I could exercise whenever I wanted for however long...I loved going to the gym. Most military gyms rock, not all, but most, and they have racquetball courts (I miss that too).

Pre-kiddos, I went to the gym 4-5 times a week, went on regular 10-15 mile hikes in the backwoods. Post-kiddos, I'm lucky if I workout 3 times a week for more then 2 weeks at a time. There's always something else that needs being done...or maybe that's just become my excuse.

Retrospect is beautiful and humbling...I didn't realize how fit I was. I was always trying to keep up with my ex-husband, and he had this way of indicating that I wasn't fit enough, not fast enough on the trails. I'll deviate a bit, and share a story about the power of shoes. Yes, the power of shoes. I had and still have this pair of shoes which originally caused me much pain. The break-in period for these hiking boots (at least for me) was about 100 miles (65 miles in Alaska didn't break them in, nor countless other 10+ hikes, nope - it was mowing the lawn in them). And after about 10 miles of hiking my feet were shot. So, when the Ex and our usual hiking companions wanted to hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and then back out about a week later; I insisted on new hiking boots (I still have them too). And let me tell ya -- I kicked ass. The Ex couldn't keep up with me. My level of working out hadn't changed; all the crap I'd taken over 4 years of backcountry hikes was because of a pair of shoes. I was fit, and I didn't know it.

I can still remember what fit feels like, I have the pictures of what fit looks like, and I miss fit. I've done WW successfully, and I've incorporated most of the concepts into my eating -- I eat healthy, and have decent portion sizes, snacking kills me though; I had time to exercise (last place of employment had a nice free gym on-site). So the weight came off. But, now it's back.

The goal is to get back to the WW weight, then back to the weight I was when I was 28. If I only get to my WW goal, I could live with that. It wouldn't be go out and buy leather pants and get blue highlights reward time, more like khaki cargo pants happy. Ok, I'll admit how much I need to lose -- 55 lbs for my ultimate goal, 35 lbs for the first goal.

The routine requires 6 days of working out for about 45mins with a mixture of circuit training and cardio with a bit of ab work. There are three things that have become abundantly clear to me about what adds to my happiness of life: centering prayer, learning, and exercise. When I ignore these things, I'm grumpy and tired, more easily annoyed.

So, I'm going to try to take care of myself without feeling guilty about the time these things take away from my family with the hope that ultimately it adds to our collective happiness and good modeling.