Hmmm, where to start? I ended up creating a blog at the quiet insistance of a friend of mine. This is my first foray into the world of blogging as a blog space holder and not a visitor of other peoples thoughts and opinions.
The title for the blog comes from a lifelong journey of changing while remaining the same - if you know what I mean? The more inward I look the more I grow and change but the "who" of who I am has remained constant and true.
The idea of flow and flux and journeys resonate deeply within me - like the chanting of Om, the sounding of a Tibetan singing bowl.
I haven't figured out what I want to do (notice not be) when I grow up but I have begun to again explore the things that I always return to whenever I allow myself enough time to self-examine. So I carry my aspirations with me in what I've dubbed my "Aspirations Pack" and for awhile it was a joy to take with me wheerever I went, but somewhere along the way it became an unbareable weight. When that happened I got quite scared and afraid, and for awhile I wasn't sure what to do. In the end, I've removed items with the promise to myself that these things would not be forgotten and told myself it was okay to let it go for awhile.
I narrowed my focus to what was calling me to spend time with it. So what was removed and what remained you ask? I removed the art books, the pencils, the drawing pad. I kept the journal, the photography lessons, the Book of Common Prayer, the Windsor Report, the response to the Windsor Report, my Community of Hope material, my Sunday School material, my ill-used pocket calendar, my pens, and my Bible is going back in.
This doesn't sound light does it :-) Though it's still heavy the weight isn't the same. I find my biggest challenge at this point in my life is time. I often joke that I wish I knew how to step outside of time long enough to do the things that require thought and quiet moments. I also joke that I "steal moments" those few minutes when no ones looking, I claim these for myself hoping that when collected together will be enough to sustain me.
My other struggle ties into time and that's finding balance. But I think this is a topic I'll have to think more about, I'm not sure how to express this struggle as separate from time, because for me the two are intimately linked.
I'll end with this: I haven't any idea where I'll go with this blog - so here's to the journey.