Friday, April 17, 2009

What Im Up To

I haven't been up to keeping up with everybody's blog, barely keeping up with Facebook. Partly because I seem to be quite busy, the dealing with the landlord is amazingly draining and tension filled, but also I think because I've felt like I've been at a loss for words.

And with that...What has writing this (working on "assingment 2") been like?
Freeing and energy intensive...each piece of this requires that I go deep within myself, stay there long enough to hear what pieces are speaking to me and why, and only come back from that space just enough to be able to articulate what I had found within myself. Perhaps this is a muscle that is not used enough and tires easily, and once I get used to being in this in between space the breath I find I release once the writing stops is long and deep. I wonder if this is what sermon writing is like...but, then I think maybe it's a combination of this and an out flowing, out pouring that just comes easily and quickly.

I keep realizing how humbling this journey is, and I wonder at or if any transformation is happening. What part of this journey has strengthened me, what parts weakened - in what measure. But, that's an anwser that comes at the end.

At EFM this Wednesday, we were doing our Thelogical Reflection and it required a story from one of us, and since I really like the method we were going to use I got volunteered for providing the story which would ultimately lead us to a metaphor, which would lead us to at the very end, our Position statements of: I believe, I will, I have learned. In the end, at the end...what moved people the most was in the sharing of a story (albiet the story from myself as a 1st grader) that was about feeling exposed, humiliated, ashamed, embaressed. It started as a story about a child and a nun and chicken pox, which led to 10 other stories, which led to the end. That our stories have the power to transform ourselves and others (no matter how old these stories).

It is our stories which transform and bind, but which we are often too afraid to share, especially the ones in which we are vulnerable.


murat11 said...

I'd say the writing explorations are working their spell, wouldn't you? Blessings along your way.

San said...

Ah, telling the stories is most transformative. And challenging. And a workout for the forgotten muscles. You're right, J.S.