Leaving Soon

I and my family leave very soon for seminary. I had thought the "hard part" was the long discernment process. I had thought this part would be easier...hmmm, lessons all around us.

My vision of seminary did not include 25-30 hours of part-time work, and a work study. And there's still a chance this won't be my future, that the vision of 2 work studies or 15 hours PT work and 1 work study will be my future.

I've grappled with my anger and my guilt; I've reminded myself that no matter which future comes to pass it's how I walk it that matters, how I let it shape me that matters. I keep reminding myself to believe that it's all going to be okay. Give miracles a chance to happen.

I keep praying that my wife is able to get a job by August - mid-August, and that it has health benefits and meets or exceeds our "magic" budget needs number.

I'm glad I've been able to pray; I'd started shutting down; as always, I'm ever grateful for the Psalms those laments that voice hopelessness and end with light cracking through.

11 days...and new chapters begin.