Dreams and Nerves

Strange dreams as the weather begins to change.

As y'all know I was in the military a long long time ago. I've never once had dreams about being in the military until very recently. I dreamt I was on a ridge line with another officer and we're firing our rifles down at insurgents. Then the dream cuts to a group of insurgents who have a plan to take us out, then the dream returns to me (though I look nothing like me) and the other officer and we thwart the plan. Then my rifle cartridge is empty, only I can't seem to find my ammunition, and instead I begin to pour water from my canteen into the place the cartridge would go. And I'm wondering when the other guy is going to notice and what is he going to think, only I can't seem to stop pouring the water into my weapon. Then I awaken.

I rarely dream about my dad, maybe once every few years or more...the dream is where my dad is telling me not to tell the commission that I'm really good at all this stuff, because they'll think I'm arrogant and I'll blow my opportunity to be a priest. Then the alarm went off.

Neither of these dreams was pleasant, and I haven't spent much time thinking about them. They just make me nervous.

As I get closer to my meeting with the Bishop, I get more nervous. I'm biggest fear during this whole process has been that I'll get tongue tied or go blank. I need to start practicing answering questions he'll most likely ask, not to have the right answer, but so that I know an answer will come out, and that it'll be a decently formulated thought (at least that's my hope). And I've been periodically rereading my packet so that is fresh in my head. Anyways blessings.

Catching Up

In a few days friends from Tejas will arrive! I'm hoping one of them brings H.E.B. 'homemade' tortillas...oh, tortillas that do not taste like cardboard, mmmmm.

I am/others as well are making progress on my/our Ministry Project though I haven't started my parish discernment (P.D.) yet...the timing didn't quite line up. It's a bit daunting the amount of work to be done prior to getting the new ministry out the door.

My pastor had to reschedule our last meeting for mid-October, and I can't start P.D. until that meeting is completed. So, maybe I'll still start Step 2 in October, but maybe not. Though if not in October, then I imagine early November.

Knowing that I would keep putting off studying or taking the GRE. I went ahead and scheduled myself to take it in February. I found a book to aid me in my studies. I haven't read much of it; however, two things in the introduction struck me: (1) The GRE does not measure your intelligence but instead how well you can take the GRE (2) don't study for months ahead, you'll forget all the strategies. Both of these statements make me feel alot better. I need to finish reading the intro and then I think skim the entire book and then start studying in earnest. I've already gone through what's the worst that can happen scenarios...here's to hoping for a 450 and a 5 :) I took the ACT in high school, and oh my, the scores did not reflect the kind of student I am.

I'm supposed to do a seminary visit to a nearby seminary in November. I'm thinking I'm going to enjoy the drive there more then the actual seminary. It's not where I would want to go, but more of a 'Yes, I have visited x' kinda visit.

That's about it in a nutshell.

Lazy Daze Lolling To An End

I have immensely enjoyed July and August. It felt like time stretched for me, like there was always enough time to get all that needed doing done without feeling overwhelmed. I'm not sure that feeling will stay as September begins. I'm looking at my calendar and my two week period of evening meetings 3 nights each week.

Highlights of the Summer in no particular order:
- Getting married (again :) to the same great woman)
- Riding the Cog Railway (if you're going to visit N.H. this was well worth the money)
- Hiking Camel's Hump
- Bike riding
- Reading things other than religiousesque books (having the time to indulge)
- Rowing (Concept2 makes great indoor rowing machines; 4k more and 4+ years later and I'll have rowed my first 1 million meters)
- Sun and warmth
- Visits from family and friends

Looking forward to hot apple cider and brilliantly colored trees.

Musings

If my wardrobe spoke it said for months blue
Now some days it speaks of red over top underneath yellow or orange

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If I could change the world I would start with I
If I could give you everything I would start with myself

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If I could get lost in the laughter of myself
Would it take me to the center of God