Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

I watched the whole thing - it's a bit over an hour long.



A friend sent me this link...I have great friends.

For Murat - I Found Love

Busy Weekend Ahead

We've quite the weekend ahead.

Saturday is the annual summer "Rumble" for the neighborhood I live in. Then later in the day is Evensong and I'm ushering for the first time.

Sunday is early church for me, help with altar guild, then later in the day a bowling birthday party for the kids; plus a potluck dinner with fellow 'down the blockers' at one of our nieghbor's house.

I'm pretty excited about all the visiting and getting to know one another.

I'm slowly giving to God my worries and letting him keep them...I realized what some of my lessons are right before I feel asleep but, chuckle, it's fuzzier now...something like even in suffering there is beauty...the other lesson is about recognizing wants vs needs. Though finding a second job so we can pay for healthcare is definitely a need and not a want.

My wife was catching up with one of her friends, and she summed it up best - when I'm not worrying about money, I really like it here.

I told my wife I'm willing to struggle and work two jobs during this time of waiting to be able to start the process, and then go through the process - but if after two years and the call isn't affirmed, and we're still struggling, then I don't think we'll stay here. Not because we don't like the space, but because I'll have so little time with my family.

And there in a nutshell is the sum of my worries - the only other thing on my mind of late is that back in Tejas I was the 'chatty one', the one people approached, but here it's my wife who's approached and chatty.

Anyways, hope y'all are having good weeks.

p.s. I highly recommend "The Invention of Hugo Cabret". It's an amazing childrens' book, which I read from start to finish last night (all 550 pages of it).

Voices of Witness: Africa

There's an excellent video at this link: http://www.integrityusa.org/lambeth2008/index.html
entitled, "Voices of Witness: Africa"

Poem

If I knew which way you were headed would I still follow?
Would that I should have preferred the mystery

Not that much has been relieved, well of you that is
What I’ve seen so far, ah memories long past slumbering no more

If I knew which way you were headed would I still follow?
Would that I should have preferred the mystery

Ah but that too is not so true, I’m impatient with these struggles and would have preferred to skip the lessons

Gene Robinson's Blog About Lambeth

I stumbled upon this link on another persons' blog: http://www.canterburytalesfromthefringe.blogspot.com/

It's worth reading.

Pics from around town and Pride

Some pics from around town and two pictures from Pride. It was a small parade, but hey at least they had one.

Home Haircut Results...

...well, a bit shorter than I would like, so the wife is going to get a couple of clippers 2 or 3 sizes bigger. I had her cracking up when toward the end I said I felt like a big hairy man. I had my eyes closed and all I could feel was all this hair coating my arms and neck.

So here's the results...

untitled

please take this brick from my chest, pinned
please wipe away these tears from my eyes, sorrow
please

Some breathes of fresh air

The Church of England voted and affirmed that women may be bishops: here's a link to a blog with a summary of events: http://telling-secrets.blogspot.com/2008/07/cofe-synod-motion.html.

The Prebyterian church has lifted its ban on lesbain and gay ordinations, for an article about this, here's a link: http://newchurchrevolution.googlepages.com/news#Delete%20B.

I hope that this wave of inclusion has enough energy behind it to bring positive changes to Lambeth and the General Convention.

I think I lost my feet a mile ago

It's been a good weeknd so far. Thursday was a rough day all-round, but life goes on. The wife's bike was stolen from our backyard - our fault in some ways; it hadn't been chained up. While reading stories to the kids we think we saw who may have taken the her bike because the 10-12 year old walked into our backyard and proceeded to look under the tarp (we keep the bikes covered) at which point the wife went back there to ask him what he was doing. To which he grunted nerviously and walked away. I would have followed but I was in jammies and had been napping lightly so was abit disoriented. Later, the wife and daughter went to Battery Park to watch the fire wokrs that night - we don't know why they don't have the fire works on the 4th. While son and I stayed home because he got hisself grounded.

Friday we went to a state park about 20 minutes away and had a blast navigating the twisting rocky, rooty, and many a stair pathways with a brief stop by the beach with the dogs. A good time was had by all.

We started today off with a walk in the wrong direction to a local bike shop - about 30 minute walk - at least it was nice out. After lunch we walked to the waterfront cause we told the daughter and son they could swim, but when we saw were they took us - we were both like eewww, no way. So we walked the bike path to a relatively nearby beach, and had a good time in the water. The walk back was exhausting - it took us 40 minutes to get home, but at least we were hot :-) Though I think everyone's necks are now sunburnt.

Tomorrow is church and I think lounging; we may try to go the right direction to the local bike shop.

All told we probably walked 12 miles so far this weekend.

Poem

I see you inverted like my eyeballs do,
Only my brain corrects the inversion,
I think perhaps I’d rather awhile it didn’t, and
Instead left you upside down
Perhaps if we hung that way, the conversation
would flow more easily
Maybe this would remove those horrid notions, of you know,
how things ought to be

Video of My Walk to Work

Here's my walk and/or bike ride to work.

Walked to Work

I walked to work this morning, it's a doable walk if I don't feel like riding my bike, and when riding my bike won't be an option any longer - ya know snow drifts :)

The mornings are almost always sunshine and soft. I'd catch peeks of the lake, and I'm continually surprised by how it looks faded from far away but up close the waters are deep blue-grey.

I did meditate last night, and it was good for me. But, there's a restless unease that isn't going to settle until certain things fall into place. I keep giving these worries back to God...when it gets really bad I image returning to how things were. I'm not really ready to go back, but the near future has me anxious.

And all shall be well, and all shall be well.

A Poem

I thought I was a multitasker, but
my mind is getting strecthed to thin
competing wants and needs and holes so deep
and not just my own

I toy with skipping meditation, as I
have these last few weeks, months, days
I feel the internal tuggling the disquiet within
the need to fall into be

So, we decided to save money on haircuts

This all started when the cheapest haircut we could find is at the beauty school - $10 for a no frills no shampoo cut. But, they don't appear to be open on the weekends, and I couldn't stand my hair on my face anymore. So, we bit the bullet and spent 20 bucks on my haircut. Mind you I used to pay $50 every 6 weeks, but, well things have changed. Afterwards when we got home - I was like honey, you could've given me this haircut for free. She looked at my head again and said "yeah, I think you're right." Then we went hunting for her hair clipper attachments, but couldn't find them - we may have goodwilled them and just don't remember.


The wife used to buzz her own head back in her college days - she was even in a gay pride calendar with buzzed hair. So, she's the official barber of the house now.



We went and ordered the Wahl 79900 Clip-N-Trim 23-Piece Complete Haircut Kit for $24.99, free shipping and a quick look back at online store they just went up $3 (go us):

Then we went and googled about cutting your own hair with clippers. So in 6 weeks we'll see how this endeavor turns out. I figure with each cut she'll get better at. And worse comes to worse (1) my hair will grow out (2) my work doesn't really care (3) I can then dye my hair some extreme color and the bad haircut will now appear to have been on purpuse (4) 3 haircuts given to our son and it will have paid for itself.

And no fear for those of you who know our daugther, we'll just be trimming her bangs and ends - no clipper cuts for her :)

So Let's Talk About the Weather

Hmm, you know mental models based on memories - deceiving, can you believe it. When I lived in Upstate NY my memories are of this sunny state, and green, and woody. But sunny often, alot even. So what does this have to do with the price of umbrellas? I applied these memories to VT; only so far, the model isn't holding. It's mostly cloudy grey without outbreaks of sunshine. I never know how to dress day to day, or even hour to hour. One hour I'm too cold - the next I'm now too hot because I added layers and the sun will display its glory and heat for oh say 15-20mins. I'm used to sun day after day after day. I miss the sun, and it's only summer. Maybe I wouldn't miss the sun so much if my cubby wasn't faced away from the windows. I see the sun at 4:30 in the morning, not when I'm really able to appreciate the glorious rays shining in. No where in the literature does it say that VT weather is like Seattle - it's a Vermonter's little secret I think. The 5 day forcast - can you guess it - I bet you can - that's right - rain and cold with outbreaks of sunshine.

My Driving to Vermont Video

So, here's a short video of getting from San Antonio to Vermont.

I sound really funny on the audio, and for some reason I don't have any "day 2" or "day 3" snippets. But, hopefully it gives you a flavor.

Finally Pictures

Here's a picture of my new home and a view down the street.

Here's some pictures of where I work.

My cubby is now much more cluttered after only two weeks.

Photos Soon & Sadness

I got the photos scanned in this weekend and put together the snippets of our trip (I'm hoping it will upload ok); tomorrow is cable/internet install - so hopefully by tomorrow evening the wait will be over.

I do find that I really miss my old church, and I'm hoping once the summer is over and this church gets back into its non-summer routine I won't be so home sick for Rec. Plus all the training I took at Rec - most of it I'll have to re-take - so I can't even start back into my ministries I used to particapate in. I haven't been able to figure out their outreach ministries either - sigh; it'll just take time. But, the wife and I both agree that it will be a much slower integration into this community then we had expected. I miss my old pastor's sermons - so far the ones here are sorta academic, sorta not - so far they haven't spoken to my heart.

I hadn't prepared myself for feeling sad once I got here; but part of me is in mourning. Part of me wants to go back to how life was...but in many ways I can't - it's like God made sure to shut certain doors so that I wouldn't be able to entertain those thoughts for too long.

I need to let go of my doubt and fear...ah, the pains of settling into transitions.