Poem

I see you inverted like my eyeballs do,
Only my brain corrects the inversion,
I think perhaps I’d rather awhile it didn’t, and
Instead left you upside down
Perhaps if we hung that way, the conversation
would flow more easily
Maybe this would remove those horrid notions, of you know,
how things ought to be

Video of My Walk to Work

Here's my walk and/or bike ride to work.

Walked to Work

I walked to work this morning, it's a doable walk if I don't feel like riding my bike, and when riding my bike won't be an option any longer - ya know snow drifts :)

The mornings are almost always sunshine and soft. I'd catch peeks of the lake, and I'm continually surprised by how it looks faded from far away but up close the waters are deep blue-grey.

I did meditate last night, and it was good for me. But, there's a restless unease that isn't going to settle until certain things fall into place. I keep giving these worries back to God...when it gets really bad I image returning to how things were. I'm not really ready to go back, but the near future has me anxious.

And all shall be well, and all shall be well.

A Poem

I thought I was a multitasker, but
my mind is getting strecthed to thin
competing wants and needs and holes so deep
and not just my own

I toy with skipping meditation, as I
have these last few weeks, months, days
I feel the internal tuggling the disquiet within
the need to fall into be

So, we decided to save money on haircuts

This all started when the cheapest haircut we could find is at the beauty school - $10 for a no frills no shampoo cut. But, they don't appear to be open on the weekends, and I couldn't stand my hair on my face anymore. So, we bit the bullet and spent 20 bucks on my haircut. Mind you I used to pay $50 every 6 weeks, but, well things have changed. Afterwards when we got home - I was like honey, you could've given me this haircut for free. She looked at my head again and said "yeah, I think you're right." Then we went hunting for her hair clipper attachments, but couldn't find them - we may have goodwilled them and just don't remember.


The wife used to buzz her own head back in her college days - she was even in a gay pride calendar with buzzed hair. So, she's the official barber of the house now.



We went and ordered the Wahl 79900 Clip-N-Trim 23-Piece Complete Haircut Kit for $24.99, free shipping and a quick look back at online store they just went up $3 (go us):

Then we went and googled about cutting your own hair with clippers. So in 6 weeks we'll see how this endeavor turns out. I figure with each cut she'll get better at. And worse comes to worse (1) my hair will grow out (2) my work doesn't really care (3) I can then dye my hair some extreme color and the bad haircut will now appear to have been on purpuse (4) 3 haircuts given to our son and it will have paid for itself.

And no fear for those of you who know our daugther, we'll just be trimming her bangs and ends - no clipper cuts for her :)

So Let's Talk About the Weather

Hmm, you know mental models based on memories - deceiving, can you believe it. When I lived in Upstate NY my memories are of this sunny state, and green, and woody. But sunny often, alot even. So what does this have to do with the price of umbrellas? I applied these memories to VT; only so far, the model isn't holding. It's mostly cloudy grey without outbreaks of sunshine. I never know how to dress day to day, or even hour to hour. One hour I'm too cold - the next I'm now too hot because I added layers and the sun will display its glory and heat for oh say 15-20mins. I'm used to sun day after day after day. I miss the sun, and it's only summer. Maybe I wouldn't miss the sun so much if my cubby wasn't faced away from the windows. I see the sun at 4:30 in the morning, not when I'm really able to appreciate the glorious rays shining in. No where in the literature does it say that VT weather is like Seattle - it's a Vermonter's little secret I think. The 5 day forcast - can you guess it - I bet you can - that's right - rain and cold with outbreaks of sunshine.

My Driving to Vermont Video

So, here's a short video of getting from San Antonio to Vermont.

I sound really funny on the audio, and for some reason I don't have any "day 2" or "day 3" snippets. But, hopefully it gives you a flavor.

Finally Pictures

Here's a picture of my new home and a view down the street.

Here's some pictures of where I work.

My cubby is now much more cluttered after only two weeks.

Photos Soon & Sadness

I got the photos scanned in this weekend and put together the snippets of our trip (I'm hoping it will upload ok); tomorrow is cable/internet install - so hopefully by tomorrow evening the wait will be over.

I do find that I really miss my old church, and I'm hoping once the summer is over and this church gets back into its non-summer routine I won't be so home sick for Rec. Plus all the training I took at Rec - most of it I'll have to re-take - so I can't even start back into my ministries I used to particapate in. I haven't been able to figure out their outreach ministries either - sigh; it'll just take time. But, the wife and I both agree that it will be a much slower integration into this community then we had expected. I miss my old pastor's sermons - so far the ones here are sorta academic, sorta not - so far they haven't spoken to my heart.

I hadn't prepared myself for feeling sad once I got here; but part of me is in mourning. Part of me wants to go back to how life was...but in many ways I can't - it's like God made sure to shut certain doors so that I wouldn't be able to entertain those thoughts for too long.

I need to let go of my doubt and fear...ah, the pains of settling into transitions.

Photos Next week Maybe

I may have photos next week, and possibly some video. I'm going to pass on tags until I can get my home internet up - so next round of tags - I'm in.

The few days of "oh my gosh hot" have passed and now the days are cool (brisk mornings and evenings - perfect afternoons). Also, this time of year the sunlight hours are super long - about 4:30am until 8:30ish - too cool. But total suck was winter gets here since it'll be the exact opposite.

Almost have Regular Internet

It'll be a bit still before I can catch up with everyone's blog, but we're supposed to have home internet by the end of next week.

My first day of work went well, the people are great. I rode my bike to work work today - totally cool.

It's super hot, and not having AC is making for some clammy nights. I think it's time to invest in another fan.

The wife had an interview yesterday that went really well, but the school is still interviewing and told her their process is a slow one - so keep your fingers crossed for her (and us).

Almost Back

We've arrived safely to VT, but my computer time is pretty limited - library only gives out 30min time slots and I'm down to 4mins.

I'll catch up as soon as I can - can't wait to get our stuff, so that i can sign up for internet.

The house is quirky but nice, the kids school is super close, and biking to work is still an option :)

Hope y'all are well.

Disconnected

Well, oh my...this is going to be aweful - no checking email everyday, no checking blogs...sigh...I've a desktop computer so it's getting packed by the movers this week.

So I won't be posting until about mid-June...by then the household goods will have arrived, been mostly unpacked, and then the internet account set-up.

If I'm not totally wiped out from our six day adventure to Vermont, and the hotels have internet I might post. Otherwise, I'm hoping to use my little low tech video recorder, and maybe take some photos to post once I re-enter cyberspace.

Blessings to yo all.

Daughter's First Art Award

So my daughter, who's in kindergarten, won her first art award from SHARE (Students Help Art Reach Everyone); here's a link to the organization: SHARE.

From the SHARE website:

"SHARE's primary project is to place student artwork into permanent collections. SHARE asks students to share the joy and energy of their art with the community. Sites selected are those where critical and often life changing events take place. All submitted works are exhibited at the Southwest School of Art and Craft for one week in the spring. One hundred works are selected for framing for a permanent site."

And here's the "piece de resistance"

Le Clown

Last Day

"Goodbye to Work"
The boxes are loaded into the car
The farewell lunch is eaten
The hugs and well wishes dispensed
And thus this chapter ends

As quietly as I arrived, as quietly as I left
Though I hope that the internet via email holds
some of those connections intact
But time and space away, ah the heart is fickle

Day 3 of 5

Parking for one of the last times
It's odd walking the halls
Once so familiar now textured different
Seeing people, really seeing them
Trying to hold them that moment of clarity

I hear your leaving, where to - how come
Civil unions [pause] discernment, well
the possibility of
Your leaving without knowing
Always indrawn breath then yes

Transposing Influx

slowly the good byes begin
slowly the last of this and that end
long drive ahead packed with my most precious
onward mountains, onward cold, onward small slice of my heart

somewhere between spaces
how long the paces to the de ja vu beginning
no turning back, no repentance
onward rush, onward unavoidable, onward large slices of my heart

What's On Your Desktop

Oh my...it's really rather sad...the default IBM display. There was a time when it was a Fall day with a red, red barn...a moon on the horizon...the house with the colors of Mexico...but alas, my work computer seems incapable of holding any image but - the default. Nor does my computer at home have anything but the default displayed. Perhaps the time has come to change the default display.

As an aside, we went up and got my new job blessed and our move to Vermont blessed this past Sunday. My pastor surprised me in a good way...he told the congregation the truth about why we were moving. So here's his big cyber "Thank You".

I'm 98% certain we've managed to find a rental home. But the deposit check goes into the mail tonight once I'm 100% certain. The wife continues to job search and interview.

And what the wife calls "sticker shock" has begun to ebb. I've had to work through some of my own "not enough money" demons. In that I grew up low middle class, and I didn't want that for my children, so I've some processing to do. Cause quite frankly the downward slide hasn't stopped yet. We'll hit the low end of the curve come seminary (assuming it comes). But, as I long as I can keep them clothed, fed, and sheltered; hopefully love will make up for the rest.

Blessings to y'all.

I'm...Elinor Dashwood, who's she??

Take the Quiz here!

I must admit to not having read the book, but did not want to pass up an opportunity to take a SA gang quiz.

It's almost off to Vermont

Well, I got the job!!!! The guys I'll be working with are great, and the rest of the staff seems really nice as well. Everything about this visit to Vermont was different from my last experience. Plus I got to visit with a person I made contact with in VT way in the beginning of this journey, and that was pretty awesome too.

Now the planning starts, already called the movers, need to put my notice in (boss out for morning), and oh my gosh - trying to figure out COBRA insurance stuff for the two months without coverage between 2 states; this process is probably going to be the most stressful part of moving.

Thank you for the prayers and well wishes...more updates as things progress...